Alright. There is more than a couple of reasons I have waited so long to get myself to the doctor. One being it is a total waste of time for someone to tell me I am fine. This first appointment was just with a nurse answering questions and stuff. Which, halfway through, I was so mad that they don't schedule those two appointments together. LIKE HELLO! I can talk to a nurse for 30 minutes and then see a doctor. I don't need to come in on two different days. Ridiculousness number one. And I told her so.
Number 2: They make you take a pee test EVERY time you come in. To check or sugar and protein. And then still do a glucose test. Can you say OVERKILL!? So ridiculous.
Also. The nurse came in all bubbly and happy and was all like, "Congratulations!" And I was in one sour mood and I just gave a little nod of thanks. No, congratulations is not the right words here nursey-poo. What you should be saying is "Thank you". Thank you for putting your body through this horrendous cycle of having a baby. Thank you for sacrificing your life to make the future a little better. Thank you for being a good mom and having a child who will grow up with standards and moral and not be attached to electronics and need medication for ADD. Thank you for being a strong lady and knowing that after the pregnancy, after the birth and after the first 4 months of baby-life things are going to be ok. And for knowing that the year between that time and now is just a little compared to the long-term. Not congratulations. Please, give me a break. This is not a happy time. This is a nightmare. You want to know one more thing? I don't even like babies! Sure, I can tolerate them, but you can bet your best dollar that out of all the women in a room I will be the last to even stroke a baby's head, let alone want to hold them. They freak me out. All the what ifs and unknowns of their little world.
AND THEN the lady had the odasity to be all like, "Oh, you're still sick? Now that we're going into the second trimester you could take some (insert medication that start with z). For now though you can take (insert over the counter medication that is with the sleep aids that starts with a u) and a B6. AS IF I am going to take medication and most especially a sleep aid. Please lady. I don't need to be more miserable. I don't need to be groggy. I may be a stay at home mom and won't be driving a car but that doesn't mean that I need all my awakeness to take care of the child I already have.
AND THEN - this is the real true kicker - she's all like, "Oh. You're taking a folic acid and two child vitamins? You really should move up to a prenatal." No lady. I am not going to move up to a prenatal. Are you crazy? Those things are horse pills and make me sick to my stomach. You're lucky I am taking anything at all. Let me alone. And then she was all like, "Yes, some people don't take any prenatals, or they "forget"." Right. Well I haven't forgotten to take my child vitamins. Because I can take them whenever I want. I don't have to remember to take them with food and then forget and then not want to eat something so I try to remember to take them with my next meal but then forget again. So yeah, forgetting is a real things for some people that have no schedule. But I am not going to sabotage the good I am already doing by trying to do something I know I do not have success at. So thanks, but no thanks.
I went out of their storming mad and ready to cry. Waste of time. Total waste of time. And I had to pee in a cup. And will have to do it again. And again and again. I got myself some french fries and an ice cream cone on the way home after picking up our dry cleaning.
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