Friday, June 23, 2017

First Week of Summer

Time just keeps running. And I prefer it that way. Gives me less time to hurt about these two girls leaving us. They have been at the mom's house that is going to have them come July 1st the past two Sundays and I just keep on getting all teared up and having a chokey throat. Two kids. It's such a small number. It's relaxing. And four. Four is fulfilling.

Like I said, it's easier to keep them out of the house than in the house so we've been doing some pretty outrageous things. Like the zoo and a hike around lost lake and the children's museum and lots of days after school at the park when it's been nice enough.

And now, school is out. Summer. And it's like our little hearts have just been waiting and waiting and now we're going super-speed full ahead! No filtering.

We have a week planned at my mom's house. Our first whole week of summer will be spent out there, doing swimming lessons at the pool and eating the free lunches they have at the school and then who knows from there. The canvas is open.

This week berry season started. I did a delivery on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and was absolutely worn out by Thursday evening. 75 flats, 45 flats and then 80 flats. Which. Of that 80. I had 7 that were homeless for awhile there and finally started giving them out like candy. There was no way I wanted that many berries to process at the end the night. I even basically payed a lady $2 to take one! She had come to get one and needed change and I just let her take the second flat instead of giving her change, even though she was $2 short. I lost money on that one. But the rest were fine - striking a little over even.



Tuesday, June 13, 2017

4 Weeks Measured by Heart Taps

People. I love, love having 4 kids! The heart taps that come are un-countable. And yet I want to remember every. single. one.

My heart just wants to implode and explode, all at the same time. It is amazing the joy I find in having these two extra girls in our home. They are so absolutely pleasant and it saddens me to no end that their mom and dad can't be the ones taking care of them. But I am soaking up the opportunity that I have.

reading together on the bed

homework all together at the table

mother's day cards

Their comments on how much they love it here, how much they love each other and Talmage and Alaska. They have quickly become a mainstay of our family and I have been scheming how to keep them longer. I was so nervous taking them in with such a short time until our newest edition but now I am all up and anxious about them leaving.

I did a nesting clean-up of our room. Making the most of the space and clearing out a space for a pack-and-play. Talked to my parents about doing respite care while they can so I can give Steven the family time he thinks he needs before the baby comes. Talked to them about doing respite after the baby comes so we can do a little adjusting. And then talked to a few other people, too, about taking care of the girls while the baby is born. It was all coming together.

And then I contacted our certifier. And she basically said, Ummmm - thank you for being so flexible and I am glad this placement is working out - but you really don't have the room. On top of that, the mom of the brother had already said that she could take the girls. She had just needed the extra time to figure out child care and everything complicated like that. She's amazing and is a single mom who works - I hate to see her take on so much - but I know she'll do wonders. So all my planning and cleaning and everything was pretty much for naught and I bawled my eyes out.

Which in turn made my madder than I have ever been before. I am so ridiculously upset that my dreams are being shot down by space. Space that I don't have any control over because housing in St. Helens is mounting into a bubble (269,000 for a 3 bedroom!!!!) and rent isn't much better. We're lucky to be where we are, but it's not enough. And on account that Steven hasn't promoted yet and is looking at a career change and yet nothing is moving. It's stagnant.

Fostering has held my head over the water - allowing me to do great things while in my limited situation and now that my 'doing great things' has been expanded it absolutely disgusts me that I can't keep going. I so badly want a house with a yard. With multiple rooms. One extra child used to be scary, and then two was scary, and now I feel like I am ready to take on three if I were asked. And now I am stunted. To one extra. Where I have already been and done.


5 kids; 2 bedroom apartment

When you get serious about fitting 5 kids into a 2 bedroom apartment you really take a look at necessities and throw everything else out. I've got a couple bags to go to goodwill and another bag of garbage. Huge bags. The kind that come from Les Schwab that they put your nasty tire in to keep your trunk clean.

Right now we've got three girls in the one bedroom. Bunkbed - twin size. And an upper piece of a trundle - crib size. In our closet we've got one boy in the bottom piece of the trundle - crib mattress. And now I am figuring out footage for a pack-and-play.

And I found it. In the corner of our master bedroom. Which also happens to correspond with the heater, but that will just have to be a problem for another day.

We've had a crib since Alaska was a baby and have only used it for her. For Talmage it never got set up because by the time he was big enough to move out of the pack and play we had C and just kept him in there because then we had two girls in the other room.

It has been amazing to see the transformation of that room all the girls are in right now. How full it felt with just Alaska in it. How full it was with C and Alaska doing the crib size trundle bed with two dressers. I couldn't imagine fitting a bunk bed in there; having three girls was totally out of the mind's imagination. And now we've got three dressers in that room and the two beds. It is a jigsaw puzzle of tetras that we have conquered by slowly adding pieces here and there. It is the way I like it right now. Nothing more needs to be shuffled - but it is definitely packed.

The walls are lined all the way around with either a bed or a dresser. I also got an oversized clothes basket that is separated into 3 parts because I found that unless the clothes are sorted as they are dirtied, I have huge avoidance issues of the laundry.

Two dressers are used for clothes and the third is used for storage. Everyone has their 'special drawer' that they can fill with whatever they want. Currently they are stuffed full of colored and drawn pictures, some cheap-o toys that they seem to be constantly picking up as prizes, and some other things that they call 'theirs'. This system has been a lifesaver as far as collections of stacks of things being all over the place.

I also ran to IKEA one weekend - one of those weekends where it was easier to have them out of the house than in the house - and got another storage unit to put up in there. This is where all the books go and a few toys and doubles as a nightstand for all three girls, at all their different heights of beds.

The Elsa and Anna decor is still up, even though I had to take down a lot of pictures and things to make wall room for the bunk beds. The pendant banners and tissue pom-poms have stayed and while it is totally outdated because FROZEN is way out - it's functional and cuter than nothing, so it has stayed. Right now I am collecting things to make a mermaid room for Alaska. Whenever that happens. She may be getting moved into the closet and Talmage could potentially be moved into the other room with the baby and we'll call it a 'boy room'.

I've never decorated a boy room before and am scouring pinterest and etsy for ideas. Right now I've got a Peter Pan theme flying around in my head or a 'Where the Wild Things Are' going on.

Swimming Pool

I always see moms posting their weekend adventures on Facebook. Grand, fun adventures. And I wonder where they get the energy. Where they get the patience. Often, by the time the weekend comes around, I am so pooped it's all I can do to get a little house cleaning done.

Well - I am going to let you in on a little secret. It is easier to have four kids out of the house doing something fun, adventuring, than it is to have four kids in the house going crazy on each other and wrecking the place apart as they play game after game.

We went to the pool. I have never been to the pool with kids the 4 years that we have lived here. D wanted to go and we were invited by Alaska's friend so I went ahead and braved everyone getting into suits and the whole thing and went.

It was a big deal. As much as I tried to play it off as a small deal. We went in our suits and took a bag with numerous underwear and I made sure everyone was wearing something quick to slip on and off. Dresses and flip flops for the win. Talmage had shorts and t-shirt with sandals.

We got there around 10:30 and I thought we would be done in a hour or so, but we weren't. I had to drag them out at noon-thirty because I was majorly done. I think I did really good to last even that long. Warm pregnancy blood running through me definitely was a plus. Usually I am turning blue after 10 minutes.

The girls did a good job playing together. Alaska has definitely gotten more confident in the water than the last time I had seen her swimming and D helped with that. E clung to the side of the pool and hovered by the stairs while Talmage jumped off the edge into my arms. It will be a big day when I can have kids in the water without having to be in the water with them.