Got ripples?

I've never had a 'gym membership.' All of my gym goings have happened within the last four years of my life where the gym and pool was attached to my college tuition and to use the most of my money for MY cause I tried to go. Some months were better than others. Frankly, I was a little intimidated by the beefy guys lifting 50 lbs like they were carrying butterflies. So I would stick it to the elliptical to furnish all of my work out needs because that was safe. I got really good at reading with a swaying motion and finished up a lot of homework while sweating out of my palms. Those pages probably still have salt on them.

As I got comfortable with that I began to notice that the upper level gym equipment (the BYU-I gym is a split level gym) were all mechanical weight machines and for some reason they had 'black plague' written all over them, according to the gorilla men downstairs hurling free weights in between shooting the breeze. Something I have gathered from upper-body working out is that there is a lot of sitting time. Or so the pros downstairs showed me. 6 reps and 10 minutes of sitting. Well, those mechanical weights sat up by the cardio stuff and gathered dust until I figured it out. These were the girl machines. These were what made upper-body exercise less intimidating, and therefore less manly.

I went to the counter and gathered up my spray bottle of cleaner and a rag and went to work figuring out this new world. Lucky for me there were pictures on every machine with the muscles that it was supposed to work-out in red. The semester I took anatomy the foreign language of muscles and bones combined with the pictures really clicked with me and I think I even felt one of the muscles that was supposed to be targeted doing what it was supposed to. Meaning, that probably, most of the time, I didn't do enough reps or have enough weight to feel any of the other exercises that I did. But that's 'cause I am a long distance runner. We like endurance more than speed and so weights don't really work out for us so well 'cause we're used to being in the same place for at least a hour at a time instead of going to machine to machine like a bee gathering nectar. My idea of a work-out is a 3 mile run followed by a sudden stop (this is my favorite part, where you can practically see your chest move 'cause your heart is beating so fast and hard and all of a sudden there is no need for so much oxygen and your chest kind of pinches as if the brakes are being hit on a car) and some crunches or push-ups. Sweat running down all pieces of your body, including your legs, where most people don't even know you have pores to sweat out of. Yes. That is a work out. So lifting weights is kind of hard on my attention span. It's a lot of moving when you could be moving out of the gym.

As I mentioned before, my tuition has always payed for my exercising, so when I graduated and found myself left with some tenni-shoes and a paved road I toyed with the idea of getting a gym membership. Maybe at that one place where only girls are allowed so that I wouldn't have any intimidating men. But then there are always the intimidating women. You know the kind. That are already stick thin, and have their pin-straight hair pulled up into a perfect swishy-ponytail that you watch gracefully slide side to side as you are bumping along, your own ponytail bouncing and shaking. Definitely not sliding. Those girls make me want to puke. I mean, it's good that they're exercising for the sake of exercise rather than to lose weight, but the rest of us look like ostriches put on the moon in their environment of comfort.

I know a bargain when I see one and when I heard of exercise for $10 I knew I had met my match. You don't get much cheaper than $10 a month for a gym membership. So I drove the two miles, instead of jogging, and signed up. I thought about signing Steven up, but went against it 'cause I wasn't sure of how often he would use it since he's always so worn out from running at work. I got my swiper card and attached it to my key ring and was all prepared to go by myself the next day. Well, Steven did want to go with me, so we went together, payed $5 for him to get in and went our separate ways to get our sweat build-up.

As I was jogging along I was watching some of the other members and a couple of teenage boys caught my eye. Bless their hearts. They were probably sophomores in high school and probably had big plans on having a 6-pack to show off at the pool with a tan that they will have to get elsewhere. Probably while working on their sweet of a deal jeep or something. Well, one in particular wanted to see some results. As I nonchalantly watching their routine, he would do a few reps and then lift up his shirt, searching for ripples, no doubt. Do a few more reps of something else and test his biceps. I had to stop watching to keep myself from busting a gut. So, word out to all of those who exercise. Anyone got some ripples they want to share with the poor guy?