Beat the Chub

Looking at Steven yesterday I saw a handsome boy. The boy that I fell in love with, but had always had remodeling projects in mind for. I remembered clearly one weekend that I had gone to Rexburg last summer to spend some time with him and had started bawling when I saw him. See, I had a problem. Being engaged to such a fabulous guy and only being able to talk on the phone for most of our relationship I had a tendency to make him into whatever shape or form I wanted. The voice on the phone was so kind, so strong, so built. And then when I came back to reality and realized I was not engaged to a Joe Montana look-alike, minus the 80's hair, I was an emotional wreck. My own doing, I know. I should have been adding poundage instead of taking it off.

Not joking. I am pretty sure he gained 30 lbs those two semesters we were apart when he was supposed to be losing it as part of the lgn diet plan. For those of you who need to be up-dated, lgn stand for Look Good Naked. Needless to say, I had renovation plans for him even before we were married.

I've done the best I can to make sure that we eat healthy. I mean, my serious downfall is mayonnaise. I can't give the stuff up. Not even a little bit. Luckily Steven doesn't like it, so as I am adding inches upon inches of the white stuff on my hamburgers, pasta salads and egg sandwiches he is carefully not letting the knife touch his side of the meal. But in all honesty, we eat a lot of fresh foods. Which is actually kind of a rotten deal since I have noticed in my frequent grocery trips that number one, fresh foods go bad long before the canned and boxed and frozen stuff and number 2, there aren't as many sales on the fresh stuff. Hamburger Helper and Riceroni on the other hand are always on some big door buster add.

So here I am, right, being the perfect housewife. Cooking dinner every night from scratch and making sure that it is done when Steven gets home so that he doesn't have time to huck a whole bunch of snack food down his gullet before dinner is ready to be consumed. But then he still LOVES going out to eat and has a rabid addiction for Nielsons concrete icecream. I have a hard time saying no, to anything, and so we often got one, or both, of the following a week. I've adapted a little more, but when we first got married I was in denial that I had married someone who loved food so much. I had a hard time dealing. So we had to make a pact. Whatever money Steven spent on food, other than the regular meals, he had to match and I got to spend that money on house decorating stuff. That worked fairly well and now we've come to an agreement of sorts that leaves us both happy. I guess we've both just toned down our wants and now we get along just perfectly. Except for the fact that Steven is still an emotional eater. And still eats more than he probably should. So... we're going to work a little more diligently on this diet thing. Even more fresh fruit and veggies and less consumption of everything. No fats and sweets and a healthy dose of meats and breads. We're going to try a rigorous plan for a month and see what happens. And when I say rigorous, I mean jump on your horse, put your feet in the stirrups and hold on for dear life. Rigorous like give you a stomach ache and wear you out kind of deal.

No more of this 'healthy lifestyle' stuff. It can work for some, and should work for all, but sometimes when you've just been big for so long your body needs a little bit of a wake-up call. A call of 'get this added weight off. Now' I love myself a big guy. Always have. Strong arms and some bulk makes me feel small and safe. Two things every girl wants. I have no problem with big guys. But when things could be changed, and should be for health reasons, I am the first to jump on and throw a whip.

Our new plan also includes 2 hours of working out. They say every human being on the face of the earth should have a hour of exercise a day for health reasons, like maintaining weight. However, for losing weight, that hour should be bumped up to two. Now, the best part of working out for two hours is that you can have some gatorade at the end because your body has lost some essential nutrients. Otherwise gatorade should always be consumed with water so as not to burn anything in your body. I mean, it's not like fertilizer or anything, but really, it kind of is. And if your plant of a body doesn't need it, than yeah, it needs to be dilluted with water. Just some advice from a health minor.

Together, as a team, we are going to beat the chub.