This is Your Gift

I was sitting in sacrament today with Alaska and C by my sides. Steven had Talmage at home on a sick day and it was me and the two girls. 

We walked to church in the near rain - C bundled in a jean jacket that matched my own and Alaska in her short sleeves, happy as could be with goosebumps rippling her skin. We were in a hustle, but as soon as we got in the doors the two girls folded their arms and quietly entered the chapel. Followed quickly by the unfolding of their hands as they waved and said hello to the grandmas and grandpas that decorate the back row with their walkers and canes. I let it go and ushered them into 'our pew' - one row from the back row. They quieted down and Alaska went to pull out her coloring things. I only had to pull her up once to tell her, "Remember, we do coloring and snacks after all the boys sit down after Sacrament." And that was all she needed. "Oh, ok, momma." And up she came from the floor where she had been investigating the church bag to the seat to sit beside me.

C was miraculously quiet through the whole thing, her head against my shoulder and her hand tucked into mine. She watches the boys closely. There was one mutual night she went with Steven while I took Alaska and Talmage and she became best friends with one of the Deacons. She always looks out for him and turns to me when she sees him. Today his family was in Utah for her sister's BYU graduation and she turned to me and mentioned that he was not here today. Her other most favorite boy gave one of the youth talks in sacrament today and she perked up when she heard his voice and sat up tall to see him at the podium. 

When the sacrament was over Alaska headed straight for the snacks. That girl is always starving for a  snack but when you feed her a meal she'll pick through it. C colored before turning everything over to Alaska and crawling onto my lap for the remaining time. She snuggled in and let me rock her, all 45 pounds of her was in my arms and I felt a little tickle in the back of mind, "This is your gift." 

This past week has been a rough one for C and I, exclamaited by C getting a stomach ache and fever yesterday from some almond milk. She was in pain and let everyone know it. And on top of Alaska and Talmage - there was some kid crying constantly for about 2.5 hours last night. I needed a C in my lap and a whisper to remind me that even amongst all the sour thorns, there are sweet patches that need to be held onto and embraced with all the fulness of the moment. I am so grateful for Sacrament meeting and the opportunities it holds to have a 4 year-old climb into your lap and sit still.

So I suppose we'll make it through another week.