I hate bra shopping. Hate hate hate. It's a little humiliating 'cause you gotta have someone measure you, you gotta try on different styles and then within those different styles you sometimes need to try on different sizes. It's like jean shopping but more difficult 'cause instead of just slipping on a pair of jeans and doing a few twirls in front of the mirror to make sure everything looks alright and you don't have a big waffle bum there are more straps involved and those little hangers that they put bras on for display are not user-friendly. Not at all. Once you get the thing on, if you like the feel of it, you gotta slip on a shirt to make sure that there are not unsightly bulges, either from your own body or from some wiring in the bra. True story. I had to learn this trick on my own 'cause my first bra shopping experience left me with a bra that you could totally see outlined under any and every shirt, no matter how many layers were put on it to try to soften the ridges. Talk about embarrassing for an 11 year-old.
All of this takes some time. So the little sales lady is always knocking on the door, asking if everything is ok. Which kind of panics me and makes me fumble with trying to get those bra straps back on their little hanger that looks so tiny and cute but is really frustration with a cute face. Not so much fun.
I have come to the decision that when my little girl becomes of age we will march into Victoria's Secret, having a talk in the car beforehand about how the seductive models are not to be mimicked and how this is strictly a bra-buying experience, not that I am trying to expose her to pornography, and how if you're gonna buy a bra, you may as well do it right and in a cute dressing room all decked out in frills and pink. Very ladylike and it makes bra buying feel like a special occasion rather than a fact of life, not more unlike than how you gotta slaughter the cow 'cause that's where hamburger comes from, in a very bland JC Penny dressing room where the helper lady could be your grandma rather than a young, cute girl that is much more hip and has bras in every style you could want in almost every color. That is the way to do it. And even though they give customers a bright pink bag that screams 'I have a bra in here' at least it's cute. Oh, and another plus for Victoria is that they don't have any of those little bra hangers. Nope, they keep their bras in easy access drawers which deletes the need for hangers. Nothing could be more amazing.
Well, as I said, I am going through puberty again and needed a bra. We started at Pennys, bad idea, I knew that from the start, but they had a lot of designs online and they're supposed to be cheaper. That was a fail. So we went to Victoria's, even though they don't sell nursing bras in the store, they have them online and I thought it would be good to get my size. I was a little surprised when they had the math figured out, but you know, whatever.
I was shopping with Kimberly, my bestest best friend. She is the only one who can get me to do some pretty crazy things, like going into Victoria's in the first place a few years ago. Well, we were passing by a store called Motherhood Maternity and she begged for me to go try there for a bra. Turns out, we found a winner. And while we were there it was pretty obvious that I was a new 'mother' 'cause they were so super nice and so super helpful. They not only brought me bras, but some jeans to try with the belly band part, which I swore I would never wear, and even some shirts. Not just shirts though, they were t-shirts. T-shirts that would grow with me. Definitely worth the investment. And if I ever do decide to do this again (this, as in, get pregnant) they won't be out of style.
The pants were sooooo comfortable I just could barely stand taking them off to pay for them. The belly part was more like stretch fabric rather than elastic that I remember my mom wearing and so comfortable. And it sucked up my love handles! So slimming! They were a must, even at the high price, they were so adorable. Even cuter than the ones that I had gotten at AE the week before. Amazing. I never would have gone in there if it weren't for Kimberly. So off we went, back to her house so that I could change into my super cute outfit, complete with puberty busting bra, t-shirt and jeans.
I picked Steven up from work and he was so happy that I had finally gotten jeans with a band that he picked me up and swung me around. He was afraid as to how many jeans this pregnancy was going to need, but now the total will just be two. And one of them I no longer have to worry about what shirt I am wearing with them 'cause they suck up my love handles like they weren't even there. It feels so good to feel good again! Oh, and the other best part is that I ordered some extra large undershirts from Aeropostale so now I can have cute undershirts that actually cover my belly without me having to tug on them so often. Everything is going to be alright. All because I have a band on my pants now.
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