A Big Fat Beef

I have a beef to take up with someone. In this case. My own thoughts.

You want to know something absolutely ridiculous? Something that has been on my mind for awhile - but must be said before I go into the rest of my story of how 'the beginning to my end' is going to play out.

I am really bothered by the notion of Mormon culture teaching and re-teaching this idea of pushing through. Making it to the top at all costs. And I suppose - yes - making it to the top is fine and good. But it also needs to be taught about when to toss in the rag, call it done. Call it good. When to say, "enough is enough" and to put a pause in it all as we make some decisions. And if our decision says, "call it quits" then it should be respected and not be-littled.

This has been lingering on my mind for a few months and then I attended Time Out for Women (TOFW) and Sheri Dew gave a spiritual thought about running and making it up a hill before her husband. She knew she was strong on hills and offered the challenge of a race up the hill. She was doing well and was winning when her husband passed her, hardly exerting any effort. She let him pass and then announced, "I'm going back to the car. See you there." She would rather give-up than allow herself to lose. He caught her by the shoulder and says, "You never turn around in the middle of a hill." And up the hill she went. And of course, naturally, saw the most glorious sunset she would have missed if she had gone back. Always. Always a sunrise or a sunset. Made me shudder.

This little story made my blood boil. Literally. It has been 4 years since I have been to the last TOFW because honestly - I don't need to be told what to do. I don't need to be encouraged to keep pushing. I am already pushing. I am already going as hard as I can. I need to be applauded for the work that I am doing and celebrated for the hard. Not to be told, "Dude - you can't be turning back." I wanted to walk out to show my disdain for her little speech, but stayed put because I knew there would be something worthwhile. That just wasn't the piece for me this time. Maybe someone else needed that. Someone else who didn't learn that as a child. I was so angry that I was being told this, as a grown woman. When no. I am a grown woman and don't need to be told to push through. I can put my feet down and say, "No thanks." And it made me think.  You know what we should really be teaching our daughters? We should be teaching them to listen to their bodies. To their hearts and minds and to know when yes, matter of fact, it is time to let this one go.

So my story. My 'beginning to my end' is a little bit reliant on the idea of yeah - you've got to stand up for yourself. And you've got to make things happen. And sometimes you need to pause your journey up that dumb hill to figure things out and if you need to turn around and head on down the hill, then that takes strength, too.