Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The Beautiful and the Mortifying

C's behavior was rubbing off on Alaska and it was wigging me out. That was at about month one and a half and now, month three, Alaska is back to her usual self. Also, Talmage has stopped his scowling that he was picking up from C. There is hope that after the storm there will be calm again! As much as Alaska wanted to try out C's behavior, she has been raised better than that and all that hard work we put in has prevailed! C has had 4 years of negative/no training and Alaska has had 4 years of positive training. Their environment is not conducive to getting away with feet stomping and bad attitudes and the good has conquered.

Right now I am noticing a pattern of 4 good days and 3 bad days. I don't know what they are in relation to. It's not like I can count on her being good on Mondays or whatever, but the numbers are there. This past week it wasn't even mediocre days. It was like really awesome, we-are-starting-to become-a-family type of days.

Friday, Steve had off so we took an impromptu trip to Portland to the Mississippi Pizza Pub. Lots of flavor packed combinations and the pull there was the promise of a whole wheat crust. That proved to be false, but it was a fun adventure and the girls did fantastic. On the way home C initiated an, "I love you." with which Alaska added to. Somehow it became a game of them saying, "I love you." and Steve and I replying, "I love you, too," in silly voices. It took us about 40 minutes for it to get old and to run out of giggles. Their laughter was absolutely contagious.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday were again filled with lots of good feels for everyone.

Monday in the evening, C pulled out all the stuffing from a stuffed animal. I didn't show I was mad, just got her a plastic bag to put all the stuffing into. I had Alaska help, too, which, I should have known from the start, would turn into a fluff ball fight. That was a mess and C had to come sit on the couch while I cleaned up.

3 hours later, as I put her into bed, she held on extra long for her goodnight hug. I had worked that day and she hadn't filled her quota of touch for the day is what I supposed. I didn't let go. I held her for as long as she needed, remembering a quote I had seen on pinterest the other week. "When you are hugging a child, always be the last to let go. You never know how long they need it," said by a retired Disney princess. It payed off. She pulled back, looked me in the eyes and said, "Jessica. Sorry for pulling all the white paper out of the bear and making a mess." It melted my heart and when I told Steve about it later I started to cry. She does not say sorry without prompting and for the incident to have happened earlier in the day and not in her immediate 5 minutes ago memory meant a lot. She's coming around. It is relieving.

Tuesday there was a stand off at the gym between her and I getting her boots on. We're talking the kind where she was not going to go and I was going to have to take her out kicking and screaming. Instead, I pulled a fast one on her. I got up, took her boots with me because she was not putting them on, and walked out the door, hustling to keep up with Alaska and Talmage. She came crying and carrying on after me and I didn't let her put her boots on until we were at the top of the stairs where I could coral Talmage to wait 10 seconds while she slipped them on. It was embarrassing, sure, but it had to be done.

Bah, talk about embarrassing. We were at Safeway a month ago, I haven't had the guts to take her out in public since this, but I guess you can get free cookies at Safeway to eat while you shop. I have no idea. But she kept on asking for a cookie. Incessantly. And she couldn't keep her hands off of stuff. I put her in the basket of the cart. And she literally screamed at the top of her lungs, "I want a cookie!", I about died. She gave one more half-hearted scream about it and when she was quiet to see what my reaction was going to be and pout, I just said, "No. And ya know what? I am done talking about it." And it was done. She was fine the rest of the shopping trip. But I still haven't gotten brave enough to take her out again. It was terrifying.

On Tuesday there was just that one incident with the boots and maybe one more, but come Wednesday she was spring loaded with all sorts of attitude and fits and just all around bad behavior. It was a hard day. But I believe my stamina has grown and her behavior is changing for the better because instead of memories of all badness and wanting to quit, I can distinctly remember her fits and  behaviors as punctuations, not a whole, running paragraph for the day.

We are getting there, people! We are getting there. Her ending exclamation mark tonight was eating a book. Literally taking a bite out of a book, chewing and when asked what was in her mouth, swallowing the pulp. Keeping it real around here. One more bad day and we will be having sunny, feel good days again.

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