Sometimes You Just Gotta

Sometimes you just gotta follow your heart. We've been certified for foster care and there has hardly been a second where I have not been totally in love with the hard work, the patience, the re-teaching and the extra chaos it has brought into my life.

I've been scratching thoughts down on pieces of paper - things that I want to talk about. Things that I need to think more about. And they got lost. So here I am, starting from nothing, but starting  none-the-less. Because this is a journey that should probably be documented.

The biggest change that I noticed right away came in the change of vocabulary. No longer are my kids referred to as 'both' - with the addition of C we now use the word 'all'. Which makes it seem like so many! "All" is used for 7 kids, 5 kids - and yes, even just 3.

My brain is just now starting to get back to normal. I was so stressed I was having pregnancy brain all over the place, only they should call it 'add a new child to your family brain.' It was absolutely insane. I couldn't remember where my keys were, if I had put clothes away or if they were still sitting in a pile on the couch.

I couldn't keep dates and times straight and if the event wasn't written in my phone with a reminder attached to it, it wasn't happening. We're talking normal things that happen every single week like mutual. I totally forgot about it!

I had said yes to a substitute job a week or so before and totally forgot about it until my dad texted me, asking me where I was. And even then, I didn't remember what he was talking about. I thought he was asking when I was coming by to pick up the background checks. I hustled to school and the kids were so nice about it and I was so sorry and anxious and flustered from totally forgetting that I had to turn around to compose myself and keep the tears from running. Weird stuff like this is happening.