I know. I should be cleaning the oven. Because that's what I do to occupy my time when I have nothing else to do. Don't worry, it only gets done about once a year. It felt so good to wake up this morning to an extra-clean house and extra-happy babies that I just couldn't help myself. I needed to do something useful.
Right now I am reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I read it when Alaska was born and I am brushing up on my skills as I begin the process of sleep tracking Talmage. He's not quite 3 months right now, so I don't feel like I can sleep 'train' him, but I can track him and right now, he's following the steps of a 4 month baby and I am so surprised and so happy and so in love with him for being so awesome! He did it all by himself, I just needed to take the time to pay attention to his hours and bam - he's got this. I am a little leary about what will happen tonight since he tends to take a little snoozer from 8-9 most nights and then go to sleep for good at 10. Which is fine, except that I like my 8-10 times to be un-interrupted time with Handsome Husband.
I have been contemplating a lot the subject of 'intentional living' and something I know, but always forget, is that I am much better at living intentional with a schedule. If I don't have to get up until 8:30, then by gosh darn, I won't get up. And if I nothing going on during the day it's hard to stay motivated to get out and do things. I would rather just hang out at home, taking my time about the day, when really, I could be fitting a whole lot more into it. I have the same 24 hours as anyone else.
Which may be one reason I have jumped on a long-term, part-time subbing job at the alternative school. Yeah. I know. I am terrified. But excited. And anxious, but also calm. Calm that I feel like I can get some credit back in my life. I have it all mapped out. We are going to do awesome at this!
These past few days that I have decided this is what I am going to do have been absolutely blissful! I know my time is limited with my babies, so I have been soaking them in. Actually picking Talmage up and talking to him and snuggling him while Alaska is asleep instead of wishing he were asleep too, so I could get some sleep.
Coloring and reading with Alaska and giving her lots of attention and love. We were having a really hard time with the attention part last week and I knew she felt like Talmage was getting all of me. So these past few days I have been laying it on extra thick and when we read books now, instead of perching on the arm of the chair like she so often does, she's been climbing into my lap. She is so patient when I do her hair and tells me to not pull it please. And I do my best, spraying it with de-tangler so that I don't have to work so hard at being careful but that her messy curls slide right through my comb.
I think it really helps that Talmage is sleeping through the night, so instead of wrapping my fingers around anytime that either one of them is sleeping and wishing I were sleeping, too, I am able to take that time and use it for some one-on-one attention for both of them when the other is sleeping and it makes our whole house a lot more peaceful.
As much as I love them both, I honestly believe I am one of those mommas that loves harder and fiercer when I don't have to be with them all day. I need my own space and own time to do my own things. And then when I am with them, it is that much sweeter. Which is why I am especially excited to take on this subbing job. I know that it will be hard, especially since these kids are high emotional maintenance. One blow-up from one of them causes a whole thunder storm from the rest and that can get tiring fast but I think I can separate the two and turn on my "love everyone momma" when I get home to my babies and give them the attention they need because I want to, not because they will go berserk if I don't.
The silly complications of this job is that even though it's a half-day, it's a split half day. So I teach from 8-9:40 and then again from 11:45 - 1:30. Weird, I know, and it's a rip off that I am getting paid for a half day and have to pay a babysitter for an almost full day, but I am honestly looking forward to those 2 hours in the middle where I can do whatever I want. I know that 2 of the 5 days I will need to do some lesson planning, but that leaves me 3 others to go home and clean if I need to or go to the gym or run errands or even just find a quite place with a book. I am really excited about it all.
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