April 4th

I am so sick of March.  Tired of thinking about it, tired of looking at the calendar, trying to remember what we did each day so that I can record it on here with a few other thoughts and mostly tired of looking at the green border around the calendar part.  I never get to see the pictures on the calendar anymore because I always have it folded in half.  All I see is the color that the calendar people thought was fitting for that month.  I would prefer some plain black and white.  I really need to get one of those desk calendars that teachers have.  Write stuff on that and keep that as a journal.  And I am also tired of April slipping past because I keep have to keep buggering my mind about journaling about March.

That being said, I woke up today and couldn't get back to sleep.  It was one of those mornings where I even went in a checked on Alaska, just to watch her sleep.  Usually I am not so sentimental.  It is definitely Steven who is more all about bed time and tucking in.  I am so tired and done by the end of the day the last thing I want to do is play goodnight games and talk about the day.  I hope that will change as she gets older because I do know the value of a tuck-in, it's just really hard for me right now to hang around any longer than I have to after a full day.

Plan A right now is to just pound out the last week of March so that I can start in on our adventures in April.  Perhaps right now I need to resort to bullet points and not try to fill in any stories.  Even though I feel like that's the whole point of blogging and journaling.  Is to tell a story and learn and examine what I am feeling because of the situation.  Maybe just for one week I can let that go and just get the facts down and leave the story-telling for another time.