Hi Jessica and Steve,
I wanted to thank you for submitting your application for the Nest program. You two are clearly exceptional foster parents and Columbia County DHS is lucky to have you.
Your application was very strong, as was your letter of recommendation. I know I had shared concerns with Jessica over the number of children you already have, in addition to the 3 foster children that will be placed in the main home. I looked further into that issue and unfortunately there is no way around the licensing restrictions. Basically, the total number of children (foster and bio combined) in a 2 parent foster home for this program can be no more than 5. Because the main home will serve up to 3 children at a time, that disqualifies your family at this time.
I truly appreciate the time you put into applying for this program and I know you will continue to make a difference in the lives of foster children in your community.
I wish you two all the best!
But it was heart-stabbing in a drag you under the water and leave you there for a minute way. I was deflated and I very literally let the kids watch movies All Day. I didn't even have the energy to handle the aftermath later if I sent them loose on the house, so I didn't. Which is exactly why we don't watch a whole lot of t.v. Besides it being bad for the brain and all that jazz that they have done studies on - when I need it, I need it as a babysitter and it never fails because it is such a treat. So there it was. It babysat my kids while I took a nap, moped around the house and basically took twice as long to do everything that I can usually do. It was a no good day around here.
I don't know what our next step is. I am at an utter road block. And sure - I have three great kids of my own. But please don't point that out, as that is part of the frustration and definitely not going to make me feel better. They are great kids. There's not a whole lot of stretching on my part to be done to learn more about behavior or anything else. Frustrating.
And I know - tell me again how much more I could be doing for my kids that are already great. But I know that's when the mom guilt starts to creep in. Alaska was not even born yet when I resolved myself to never have mom guilt that comes quietly into the home in the form of magazines of 'Do this for your kids to make them X, Y and Z.' or watching other people's Facebook posts of their kid being potty trained at 18 months or reading at two. I just knew I wasn't going to go there because it is too much of a steep spiral. I am too much of a pusher to control myself to not push my kids - so I just stay away from all that. And also - I am pretty sure I would take it extremely personally if I did everything in my control and beyond my control to make my kids into something and then it didn't turn out. So I believe in letting them be who they will be and with gentle guidance, teaching by example.
The other thing. I feel so utterly complete and whole, helping and being there for the kids who have no one else. There is nothing that out-does that feeling and it's not something I can control. It just happens. They say service is never selfless. The person 'serving' is still getting something. They are filling a void somewhere in their being and I can totally tell you, that is a true fact for me in this situation.
Some people love animals, other people love reading. These loves of theirs create hobbies and articles of interest. I love being needed. I just do. Call it a hobby. There's nothing that fills me up the same. And there's nothing that breaks my heart more than a child that needs a home and a parent willing to figure them out and help them succeed despite all odds stacked against them. It's just in my blood. My own children. Yes, they need me. But not to the same extent and they are definitely fine without my constant supervision or mindfulness. I have a daughter who is independent and a boy who is loving. And a baby that is pretty chill, as far as babies go. I've got it simple.
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