Sometimes. Sometimes something happens that causes the whole nation to stop.
To be still.
To reflect.
To feel.
Friday, December 14, 2012 was one of those days. The nation's heart skipped a beat. Halted in disbelief, horror, rage, shock, and finally an out pour of love.
I am sure if you enter the date coupled with Connecticut shooting in the search bar you can find dozens of reports. That's not what I am going to write about. You can get the facts elsewhere. I am here to record what happened to the hearts of America.
It was all over facebook. All. over. So many hearts and minds turned towards the victims. Towards the children who were taken from this world all too soon. Towards their families. Facebook was flooded with pictures of Christ and the children. Any children and all children. Prayers and thoughts were sent along the internet waves. Hugs to our own children were a little longer and a little tighter.
Trying to gather the few facts that were available just hours after the slaughter I looked into Alaska's brown eyes and couldn't imagine a day of sending her to school with her breakfast half-eaten as she ran out to the bus and her things left around the house, right where her little hands had set them, and then have her never to come back. Our hugs at home were a little longer that day. Our time playing was punctuated with more smiles than usual as she twisted and climbed and finished off by handing me block after block.
Society felt it. It felt the loss of their own babies that morning and there were mothers who could not stop crying as more information was released and details got themselves sorted through. Society felt rage. Sorrow. Confusion. Shock.
But society also felt the love. We all know children. We all have been children. And children should not be murdered. Love has been outpoured in immense measures. Thank goodness society can still feel that one emotion and come together in a nation full of people that seem so disconnected from one-another.
It passes all my understanding. There is no one to blame, and yet this was most definitely not an accident. Anyone who shoots another person has larger problems then can be understood in this life. There are no answers, no excuses. It happened and instead of being afraid, we have to go on. It's not our place to judge. Nor is it our place to blame. It is our job to love.
Perhaps I feel differently about it because of my own brother being on the autism spectrum. It could have been him. He could have been the shooter. Emotions are strong things and cannot be reasoned with. When they are strong enough they can do many wonderful and terrible things. Social or mental challenges set aside, we all have emotions that drive motives deep within us that often we cannot even explain.
As society quickly spirals downwards and morals dwindle and are lost it is so easy to be afraid.
That is not who I am. That is not what I was sent here to do. I am here to be bold. To be courageous. To have charity. Alaska and the other children sent to make our family sweeter will grow up unafraid. There is nothing that can conquer the gospel of Jesus Christ and the truths that it teaches about our time on this earth and afterward.
We will be held accountable for ourselves. And I am sure the first question will be, "Did you share enough love."
Stunned to stillness and after much reflecting I have made a decision. I will have no fear. The world needs more love. More understanding and patience. More charity. What is a life if you are always afraid? It is nothing. There is so much to be afraid of. Especially as more and more people choose to serve Satan rather than God. My children will not be afraid. They will have a mother who trusts in humankind and knows there is a God.
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