Stake Auxilliary Meeting

The meeting was fabulous. And the car ride was fabulous. It all turned out to be a great way to end the night.

President Opdahl gave a moving spiritual thought about loving those we serve. I have been feeling so depleted lately. Like the fact that having three kids is so much harder and time consuming than having two. It's like I can't even focus long enough to get things done without someone coming in, needing something. Or someone else coming along to report some tattling. It's exhausting. It's all I can do to keep my little family running smoothly. I don't have the time and the energy, nor the motivation, to keep up with much else.

Which is where my church calling has been suffering. I can do the basics. But I can't do extra. Being paired with the youth, where everything feels like it is extra, is starting to take it's toll. Instead of a job to do for Sunday, it's a job to do for Sunday, Wednesday (youth group night) and during the week because I feel like they need the prayers on their behalf, the thoughts on their behalf and I really so badly wanted to do a little surprise for them for the first day of school. And then the first day of school turned into the first week of school and it still never got done. I want these girls to know that I love them, but I just can't do anything extra right now. C takes up all of my thoughts and my resources and any other time that I think I might have. It's taxing. But so rewarding and I know I am doing what I ought to be doing - I just need to find a way to squeeze out a little more for those girls that I am in stewardship over. And that is where the blessings come in, I know. Heavenly Father is looking out for me and when he sees the effort that I put in I know that he will magnify that effort so that it all comes around full circle. Just gotta have the faith (and the concentration) to make it happen.

The spiritual thought though: Love can fill the gaps of what we cannot do. The spirit can touch the hearts of all and if we teach with the spirit we cannot go wrong. Basically, if the girls feel the love that I have for them, then those days when things kind of fall apart, will be ok. Because the love will fill in where I have failed.  And if I am teaching by the spirit, then something will stick to their heart enough to make whatever lesson it is we had be of importance to them. Which is reassuring because so often I look at the lesson topics on Sunday and wonder, "What in the world is this? How can I teach this so that it matters? They've heard this stuff a million times already, what is going to make this different?" And you know what? I don't have to make it all fancy. So long as the spirit is there to testify and speak to them - they will learn something worthwhile. And that is good news for a teacher.

After the spiritual thought with everyone all together, we were split into our existing auxiliaries. Young Women presidencies, Primary, Relief Society and Sunday School. The young women's lesson started out a little shaky but ended strong. A video was shown with President Monson narrating. Something about a sugar beet farmer. He was driving all his beets to market and the load was so full he was losing beets along the roadside. He had the field hands driving behind him stop to pick up the beets that had fallen off, saying, "There is just as much sugar in those that fall off the truck as those that are still on." Which goes to say, the girls who aren't coming to church on Sunday or mutual on Wednesdays - they are just as precious and good as those who are loaded carefully on the truck, tucked in with scriptures/prayer and positive peers and supportive family. Which is hard to remember sometimes because those girls are so often the ones that are the least lovable and seem to have the least amount of sugar. Except for in our case. The young woman that I am most worried about is the quietest little thing that just slips in and out and while the other girls try to out-reach to her, she bows her head and will not make eye-contact. I have talked to her mom about it and her mom literally said, "She's just fine at home. I see no reason to worry."

There were a couple of one-liners that were unforgettable, "Our service is to save souls."  "Testify of the truthfulness of Christ."  and, "Never let your faith be difficult to detect." And I just realized that all of those have alliteration. Well, it makes them easy to remember, what can I say? Note to self, next time I make up a talk for sacrament meeting, make up a sentence with alliteration.

I could probably write a paragraph about each of those right now, but honestly, I am so worn out from today's events. I didn't even get to talk about them because I was so busy catching up from Wednesday. A job for tomorrow. Always a day behind, it feels like.