I had been given instructions to make two boxes, three if the kids didn't eat any snacks in the mean time, and that there was extra cheese to sprinkle on top in the fridge if needs be. You know, if behavior was exceptional and all that. Food brings forth miracles, especially the promise of extra cheese. I never would have thought.
While the five year-old was telling me that I needed to boil the water in a sauce pan I was scanning the directions for stove-top and grateful for the simple pictures on the box that could quickly take the place of the 1st grade reading skills needed to understand the print.
I had no idea of the complications this meal had. Butter AND milk. At least with ramen everything comes in the bag for ya. So many dirtied dishes. A butter knife. A measuring cup. And to top it all off, a nasty cheese-covered pan with miscellaneous noodles that did not get scraped into 2nd and 3rd helpings of this american house-wife staple. I had no idea three year-olds could eat so many noodles! All of the kids just stuffed up on that noodley goodness.
My second encounter with the orange cheese-covered carbohydrate was much better. Supplement a meal with hot dogs and everything is more tastefully done. This certain family ate their noodles and all with ketchup. It was kind of peculiar when the little ones were setting the table and the ketchup found its way to the table. I thought it was probably for the hot dogs but was soon corrected.
Two squirts of the red stuff made that cheesy slop edible. 'Cause you see, I've never been a fan of 'fake cheese.' You put cheese in a can and call it cheese whiz and I can tell you something is extraordinarily wrong with the composition of that substance. Try to give me anything with the cheese that comes in individual packets and I will not go within two feet of it. Cheese and crackers that come together in a package could hardly be called cheese. More like dried up and preserved cow's udder milk. Ewww. But that ketchup, now that changes things. And so I have used ketchup on my mac and cheese whenever it is necessary that I eat the stuff.
It comes in phases, the need for noodles slathered in orange goo. I have made my own recipe where I only use half the cheese and no butter. It tastes fine. Cuts down on dishes (by one knife) and you don't get so much of the slimy orange left in your bowl at the end of a meal. I ate it a lot my first years of college 'cause it was cheap, healthier than ramen, and other people liked it so I didn't have to feel the need to eat a whole box by myself. Shhh, I didn't know about only making a portion at a time back then. It used to be all or nothing, ya know? Plus that's extra math to halve everything.
I recently went to the store as a pregnant lady who's cart is full of random things. Things I wouldn't buy if I were in a normal state of mind. Things like chile and Vienna sausages. Vienna? Who even eats that any more? I never even liked those things, but I saw them sitting in their cute little can and remembered being in Utah at my grandmas. She would always send us with a few cans when we went swimming. No one liked them much, but you get hungry out there in the mermaid surf (although more often than not, we were dolphins. Dolphins get to jump more.) and when you drip a little chlorine water on them they don't taste so bad. It was a nostalgic moment.
I also came home with mac and cheese. Not just any mac and cheese, but Cars mac and cheese. Noodles shaped like Cars characters. Let me just tell you, they don't taste as good. They've got too much noodle. There isn't enough cheese, even for a fake cheese hater like me. I even used the whole package. I know, gross. There's just too much mass to the noodle. And I ate it with ketchup.
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