Let's be honest. EVERYONE says, "They grow so fast. Enjoy it while you can." Yes. While you are giving words of wisdom I will be smiling as Alaska screams bloody murder for want to stay up another hour. I will be taking kodak pictures in my mind as she insists upon attention when all I really want is two hours alone. I will be loving every minute. Every. Minute.
Well, at first I did. I was the mom who snuggled her baby all through her nap. The one who admired her baby's long eyelashes and counted her tiny fingers and toes a dozen times a day. The mom who practically memorized every inch of her baby's face and would spend a minute during diaper changing time just holding her baby's legs. It's kind of incredible to think that those legs are what will carry this child through life and at the moment they were small enough to completely fit in my hand. Such power. In my hand. Such adventures. In my hand. Such potential, and it all fit in my hand.
And then Alaska grew a little. And I thought she was done being tiny. I thought I was done paying extra attention to every single detail of her little face. she could sleep through the night on her own. I could put her down for a nap and she would stay asleep. She was such a big girl! So independent.
And I let her go. I stopped enjoying the moments we had together and started counting the minutes down to the second to when I could put her down and she was asleep enough to stay asleep. I started doing things during her nap. I had dinner ready for Handsome Husband when he got home and the house was always spotless. I was rested and full of energy.
I looked down, and my baby that I had left at 3 months old was now 5. It was incredible. And she was still small. She was still a baby. And I knew right then that I needed to keep making the most of our time together. No matter how old she was, whether 3 months, a year or 12, I needed to memorize her little face. Her fingernails and her lips. She won't be mine forever.
She will become a child and want to explore the world. She will have brothers and another sister and my time will be divided. She will become a teenager and her friends will become her world. She will go to college and studying and working and playing will be her world. She will get married and she'll be someone else's to care for. She'll have her own baby girl and she will be her's. I've only got a few years where Alaska is all mine.
So we've started snuggling again. I watch her as she sleeps. I count her fingers and toes and hold her hand. I look at her eyelashes closed soft on her cheek and I watch her little mouth smile when she is really truly asleep. I am no fanatic, she's still gotta be on the floor to have her own learning time, but I am not going to forget this important lesson. It doesn't matter how small they are, enjoy it. The enjoying part never ends. The needing to spend time never ends.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
The Food Network
Yes, we've started it. The network of eating. And I am already ready to throw in the spoon. It's been .75 hours.
You see, I am not a big food-lover myself. My picky eating habits have caused problems in the past. You know, the kind where your mom says, "If you don't like what's for dinner, have a sandwich." I won't eat peanut butter sandwiches anymore. "If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, then you're not hungry." And so I don't eat. Simple. And when I say, don't eat, I mean, don't eat. I don't keep any junk food camoflouged as snacks in the house and so more often then not, an apple is all there really truly is to eat. So I don't eat until dinner, when I have the patience to make something fabulous because I know Steve will be eating it, as well, and dinners together around the table are important.
Now, that being said, I think I have made quite the problem for Alaska. My friend's baby (not that I am comparing babies, but you know, it's good for mommas to know what other babies are doing and when) was drinking out of a cup, or at least wanting to, at 6 months 'cause her momma drank lots of water during the day. Alaska? Nope, no interest. No interest in drinks or food. Sure, she'll reach out and grab something off your plate, just to see how it feels, but it's nothing that she cries about if you take it away.
Poor Alaska never sees her momma drink water, I hate the stuff... unless it comes from a drinking fountain. But we obviously don't have one of those. And she doesn't see me eat, because, well, I just don't. The only time she is around food is when Steven and I are eating at the table and she is playing in her saucer so that we can act like grown-ups.
Yesterday we tried the sippy cup deal. It actually worked pretty well. Alaska got her little hands around the two handles and could hold it on her own, even if I had to tip it up for her to get any reward out of it.
Today we tried the bowl and spoon with cereal. No go. She let me put one spoonful in, tasted it, spit a little out and clamped her mouth down shut for the rest of the 15 minutes I had her pinned. I popped some popcorn for my dinner and chewed off any choking parts and gave her a few pieces. She was fascinated at trying to pick them up and get them to her mouth, but in the end, anything that did get into her mouth was promptly spit out with a waterfall of slobber. This game lasted about half a hour. I don't even know if she understands food can come from somewhere else than a bottle.
And that's as far as we got. I'll keep trying, but for the record, I would be willing to wait until she can make her own peanut butter sandwhich.
You see, I am not a big food-lover myself. My picky eating habits have caused problems in the past. You know, the kind where your mom says, "If you don't like what's for dinner, have a sandwich." I won't eat peanut butter sandwiches anymore. "If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, then you're not hungry." And so I don't eat. Simple. And when I say, don't eat, I mean, don't eat. I don't keep any junk food camoflouged as snacks in the house and so more often then not, an apple is all there really truly is to eat. So I don't eat until dinner, when I have the patience to make something fabulous because I know Steve will be eating it, as well, and dinners together around the table are important.
Now, that being said, I think I have made quite the problem for Alaska. My friend's baby (not that I am comparing babies, but you know, it's good for mommas to know what other babies are doing and when) was drinking out of a cup, or at least wanting to, at 6 months 'cause her momma drank lots of water during the day. Alaska? Nope, no interest. No interest in drinks or food. Sure, she'll reach out and grab something off your plate, just to see how it feels, but it's nothing that she cries about if you take it away.
Poor Alaska never sees her momma drink water, I hate the stuff... unless it comes from a drinking fountain. But we obviously don't have one of those. And she doesn't see me eat, because, well, I just don't. The only time she is around food is when Steven and I are eating at the table and she is playing in her saucer so that we can act like grown-ups.
Yesterday we tried the sippy cup deal. It actually worked pretty well. Alaska got her little hands around the two handles and could hold it on her own, even if I had to tip it up for her to get any reward out of it.
Today we tried the bowl and spoon with cereal. No go. She let me put one spoonful in, tasted it, spit a little out and clamped her mouth down shut for the rest of the 15 minutes I had her pinned. I popped some popcorn for my dinner and chewed off any choking parts and gave her a few pieces. She was fascinated at trying to pick them up and get them to her mouth, but in the end, anything that did get into her mouth was promptly spit out with a waterfall of slobber. This game lasted about half a hour. I don't even know if she understands food can come from somewhere else than a bottle.
And that's as far as we got. I'll keep trying, but for the record, I would be willing to wait until she can make her own peanut butter sandwhich.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Six months with Alaska
Favorite Things: You love to chew and play with ribbon. You also love some rubber water toys that grandma (we're still having an identity crises here) gave you. They make great chewers.
Special Talents: Inching slowly towards things. Gracefully letting yourself down from the sitting position. Using your pincher grasp to get pieces of grass off the living room carpet or getting strands of hair from the hall carpet when I set you there while I get ready in the mornings.
Favorite Pastime: Being outside. When you get kind of cranky before bed time we go outside and just sit on the lawn. You like to run your fingers through the grass and taste weeds that I give you after shaking the dirt off. Don't judge me. You're gonna have to get your germs from somewhere, may as well be natural. I am for sure not going to spoon feed them to you, but you gotta get them from somewhere. And seriously, all of the dirt it shaken off.
Nickname: Alaska Paska. It is stuck now, be grateful it isn't anything embarrassing.
Sleep: You sleep in the crib just fine now. All through the night starting at 7:30pm to 7am. Your naps have been given a severe kick in the pants due to all our vacations and all of everyone else's vacations. You slept when you could in the car and now that we've been home for a week by ourselves you tend to take a short 15-30 minute nap in the morning and then a longer 1-2 hr nap in the early afternoon.
Crying: Not so much now that you can move yourself around. You do tend to need more attention lately and let everyone know it, but we really don't mind. We love playing with you.
Dislikes: Being in a room by yourself when you don't know when we're coming back. It's like you can hear a certain pattern in our footsteps or something.
Special Talents: Inching slowly towards things. Gracefully letting yourself down from the sitting position. Using your pincher grasp to get pieces of grass off the living room carpet or getting strands of hair from the hall carpet when I set you there while I get ready in the mornings.
Favorite Pastime: Being outside. When you get kind of cranky before bed time we go outside and just sit on the lawn. You like to run your fingers through the grass and taste weeds that I give you after shaking the dirt off. Don't judge me. You're gonna have to get your germs from somewhere, may as well be natural. I am for sure not going to spoon feed them to you, but you gotta get them from somewhere. And seriously, all of the dirt it shaken off.
Nickname: Alaska Paska. It is stuck now, be grateful it isn't anything embarrassing.
Sleep: You sleep in the crib just fine now. All through the night starting at 7:30pm to 7am. Your naps have been given a severe kick in the pants due to all our vacations and all of everyone else's vacations. You slept when you could in the car and now that we've been home for a week by ourselves you tend to take a short 15-30 minute nap in the morning and then a longer 1-2 hr nap in the early afternoon.
Crying: Not so much now that you can move yourself around. You do tend to need more attention lately and let everyone know it, but we really don't mind. We love playing with you.
Dislikes: Being in a room by yourself when you don't know when we're coming back. It's like you can hear a certain pattern in our footsteps or something.
Likes: Being held and played with.
My favorite part: You are the perfect size for hugging and kissing. Your cheeks are big enough now so that when I kiss you my nose doesn't poke you in the eye and your are just big enough to squeeze hard and not have to worry about breaking your little body.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
You Know You're Ready for a Baby When...
You know you live in Utah when... The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y. You can pronounce Tooele. You know what fry sauce is made of. You go to the duck pond to feed the seagulls. You negotiate prices at a garage sale. Your car breaks down on the highway and someone stops to help you. The speed limit is 65, you go 75 and a mini-van passes you.
You know you're ready for a kid when Easter egg hunts lose their appeal and 4th of July fireworks lose their sparkle. At least that's how I knew. Easter came and went the month before we found out we were pregnant. We had the candy filled eggs and the one empty egg to represent the tomb after Christ was risen. We had the chocolate bunny and reeses peanut butter egg (you reeses fans know what I'm talkin' about). But we didn't have the easter egg hunt. It was kind of lame. And that's when I knew we needed a baby. Someone to dress up in special easter clothes for church that Easter Sunday. Someone to take pictures of surrounded by baby bunnies and neon plastic eggs. Someone to hide eggs for. And most importantly, someone to teach about the special celebration of Christ's atonement using advent eggs. Yes, I am going to be one of 'those moms'.
You also know you're ready for a kid when fireworks on the 4th of July lose their enticing joy. Last year I got off work and we walked over to the park across the street to watch some awesome fireworks, but it was really more out of duty to tradition then to pure enjoyment. And that's when you know. When you're watching the families around you and giggling about the three year-old's fascination with the lights in the sky, the one year-old screaming at each boom and the five year-old standing up to watch each explosion and then fall to the ground screaming, "I've been hit!" each time the sound echoes through the air. Yup. Sure signs right there. All of the enjoyment is built into those little eyes reflecting the bursts of color in the sky. Except the smokey smell of gunpowder. I must admit that is reason alone to go to a firework show.
And then... after you have had those two signs of 'now you know' you know that you're still on the right track when 4th of July comes around again after the morning sickness is gone and you have a baby in your arms and you are glad for the excuse to 'put the baby to bed' rather then go sit on the ground starting at 6 so that you can get the perfect view, get a crick in your neck, and then wait in traffic for a hour and a half to get back home. Because you wouldn't want to look lame and unexciting. I'm talking about the unexciting you become after you get married. It happens again after you have kids. It's all downhill from there. Someday you're bound to be the most boring person on your block. And you don't want to admit that last year's duty to tradition was kind of a bust and you don't want to do it again. So you have your little bundle all in bed by 9:00 on the 4th and you stay inside blogging about how relieved you are not to be sitting out on the grass as your body cramps up from the uncomfortable sitting position.
But next year I tell ya, we're gonna have the quilted blanket, the perfect spot on the hill, the seven eleven slushie, the popcorn or carmel corn or whatever treat I come up with and we're going to have the little girl dressed in a blue or red dress with pigtails wrapped in ribbon. You can count on it. And she's going to cry each time a firework goes off and we're going to love every single second of it.
You know you're ready for a kid when Easter egg hunts lose their appeal and 4th of July fireworks lose their sparkle. At least that's how I knew. Easter came and went the month before we found out we were pregnant. We had the candy filled eggs and the one empty egg to represent the tomb after Christ was risen. We had the chocolate bunny and reeses peanut butter egg (you reeses fans know what I'm talkin' about). But we didn't have the easter egg hunt. It was kind of lame. And that's when I knew we needed a baby. Someone to dress up in special easter clothes for church that Easter Sunday. Someone to take pictures of surrounded by baby bunnies and neon plastic eggs. Someone to hide eggs for. And most importantly, someone to teach about the special celebration of Christ's atonement using advent eggs. Yes, I am going to be one of 'those moms'.
You also know you're ready for a kid when fireworks on the 4th of July lose their enticing joy. Last year I got off work and we walked over to the park across the street to watch some awesome fireworks, but it was really more out of duty to tradition then to pure enjoyment. And that's when you know. When you're watching the families around you and giggling about the three year-old's fascination with the lights in the sky, the one year-old screaming at each boom and the five year-old standing up to watch each explosion and then fall to the ground screaming, "I've been hit!" each time the sound echoes through the air. Yup. Sure signs right there. All of the enjoyment is built into those little eyes reflecting the bursts of color in the sky. Except the smokey smell of gunpowder. I must admit that is reason alone to go to a firework show.
And then... after you have had those two signs of 'now you know' you know that you're still on the right track when 4th of July comes around again after the morning sickness is gone and you have a baby in your arms and you are glad for the excuse to 'put the baby to bed' rather then go sit on the ground starting at 6 so that you can get the perfect view, get a crick in your neck, and then wait in traffic for a hour and a half to get back home. Because you wouldn't want to look lame and unexciting. I'm talking about the unexciting you become after you get married. It happens again after you have kids. It's all downhill from there. Someday you're bound to be the most boring person on your block. And you don't want to admit that last year's duty to tradition was kind of a bust and you don't want to do it again. So you have your little bundle all in bed by 9:00 on the 4th and you stay inside blogging about how relieved you are not to be sitting out on the grass as your body cramps up from the uncomfortable sitting position.
But next year I tell ya, we're gonna have the quilted blanket, the perfect spot on the hill, the seven eleven slushie, the popcorn or carmel corn or whatever treat I come up with and we're going to have the little girl dressed in a blue or red dress with pigtails wrapped in ribbon. You can count on it. And she's going to cry each time a firework goes off and we're going to love every single second of it.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Five Months with Alaska
Favorite Things: You have discovered a particular fabric to love after all of your sucking on various blankets, burp cloths, toys, washcloths, and clothes. You have a favorite shirt that you tend to soak in your mouth. It's a pity that it's my most favorite because whenever you wear it you are not a warm and cuddly baby. You are a wet monster with drool streaming from your mouth and strings of spit attached to your fingers. It's disgusting enough that even your grandma mary would rather you in some dry clothes.
Special Talent: You roll up and over your left shoulder from your back to your tummy. You haven't gotten down the steering of the roll, you roll just for the fun of it as soon as we set you on the floor and fuss until we flip you back over.
Favorite Pastime: Visiting with people. You are a social butterfly already and can charm a compliment out of anyone with your everlasting smile. Your daddy had to take you out of priesthood because you were being a little fussy but once church was over and people were looking at you again you cheered right up.
Sleep: You slept in your car seat all this month. Next step... the crib! You sleep through the night starting at 7:30 and take a nap that can range between 1-3 hours.
Crying: There's a lot more of this now that you tend to get frustrated with your inability to get where you want to be.
Dislikes: When it takes me too long to make a bottle.
Likes: You pretty much love everything. You have been so awesome to have around. The best addition to our family. I couldn't have dreamed of a better baby then you have been.
My Favorite Part: Your little chubby legs are at just the right chubbiness and I love holding you and squeezing them a little as you suck on a bottle.
Special Talent: You roll up and over your left shoulder from your back to your tummy. You haven't gotten down the steering of the roll, you roll just for the fun of it as soon as we set you on the floor and fuss until we flip you back over.Favorite Pastime: Visiting with people. You are a social butterfly already and can charm a compliment out of anyone with your everlasting smile. Your daddy had to take you out of priesthood because you were being a little fussy but once church was over and people were looking at you again you cheered right up.
Sleep: You slept in your car seat all this month. Next step... the crib! You sleep through the night starting at 7:30 and take a nap that can range between 1-3 hours.
Crying: There's a lot more of this now that you tend to get frustrated with your inability to get where you want to be.
Dislikes: When it takes me too long to make a bottle.
Likes: You pretty much love everything. You have been so awesome to have around. The best addition to our family. I couldn't have dreamed of a better baby then you have been.
My Favorite Part: Your little chubby legs are at just the right chubbiness and I love holding you and squeezing them a little as you suck on a bottle.
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