What's In A Name

At the time we found out we were having a girl we had numerous boy names picked out but our girl names were not so plentiful. It took some thinking and a lot of disagreeing to come with our Alaska Mazie. The top runners for me were Troian, Quinnlynn, and Laken. Steven's tops were Emily and Abigail. As a compromise I suggested Alaska or Montana and Alaska it was. Strong and beautiful. It's so unique that we always get asked why we chose it, and really, there is no reason. No reason other than what it signifies. A wild beauty that is incomparable and a strength that cannot be matched. When I think of Alaska I think of a girl with long, auburn hair shifting freely in the wind as she looks out from a mountain towards the ocean, a world of possibilities reflecting in her brown eyes. The strength to be kind in a cruel world and to stand up for what she knows to be true when morals are so loose.

Along with our search for a name for our little girl that would bring to her greatness our grandmothers were also looking for names. Grandma Graff and Grandma Barnes are currently taken by grandmothers who are still alive and will be around for much of Alaska's life. There is no need to think that there will ever not be a Grandma Graff or a Grandma Barnes. I didn't think that it would be such a big deal to have two people with the same name, after all, there were always plenty of Jessicas that I knew while growing up. However, I began to realize the need for distinction after Alaska was in my arms. My mother never outgrew the name of Mommy. It seems like most kids started calling their mommies and daddies mom and dad around age 12 but my mommy and daddy never got their names changed. They will always be my mommy and daddy and I am not about to step into their names. I cannot be a mommy. That is my mother's name, it represents her. All of her. It's all part of my mommy. I cannot become what she has been working on for the past 23 years over night and it doesn't seem right to take that earned name. I have decided that I can be a momma. And maybe my name will change to mom when Alaska turns 12 but for right now I can be her momma and love her with all the love that she divinely deserves.