Alaska and I went on our first outing by ourselves. It's something I have been dreading. There's something super intimidating about a car seat. Those things are huge, and they're kind of heavy (guess that depends more on your baby) and they're definitely super awkward. Definitely.
The stake was putting on a woman's conference type of devotional thing at 9 in the morning. Now, that alone posed a problem since Alaska likes to sleep in late. She's usually eating her first breakfast around 9. Luckily the morning came early today at 7:40 and I fed her while frantically doing calculations in my head about how to best manage my time to get us out the door by 8:30 to get Steven to work and get us to the church and reverent by 9. Ever heard if you're not 10 minutes early, you're late? Yes, I am one of those people. With church anyways. You gotta have time to get your jacket off and get settled enough to search for a hymn book before you can be properly ready to feel the spirit. And share a few smiles with people who are streaming in. That part is important, too.
I got everything squared away and we were pulling out of the driveway right at 8:30. Of course, I can't take too much credit for that since Steven did the getting ready of Alaska. The standard clean diaper and check of baby essentials in the diaper bag. But I can take credit for having myself ready. That sometimes can be a pretty big job. Especially since lately I've had a super hard time trying on an outfit that fits right the first time. I cannot believe that I used to be so small! And I also cannot believe how big I have become. I call it invisible fat. It's all up in my legs and my shoulders where it's not noticeable until I am trying to squeeze into pantyhose, which are no piece of cake to begin with, or when I am slipping on a t-shirt. If it were muscle I could qualify as a female version of the hulk.
Dropping off Steven I was confident as could be expected from a girl about to embark on a journey with the one thing more unpredictable than chasing down a loose hamster. Taking a baby somewhere where they're expected to be polite and calm. And quiet. Most of all quiet.
I am pretty sure Alaska was asleep when I parked the car because she hadn't cried a peep. Usually she screams and hollers in her car seat, upset and frustrated at being strapped in and sitting up. Not this time. But, because this was my first time out with her by myself. My first time of getting a car seat out of the back of the car. My first time at trying not to knock the seat too hard as I pulled its awkwardness out I failed. I heard a hard grunt and knew I was going to have to use my back-up bottle sooner than I had thought.
We got in to the chapel quietly enough and it was my plan to sit on the front row so that no one would have to scoot past me and so I would have an easy exit if I needed it. I didn't think far enough to contemplate that the re-entrance therefore wouldn't be near as graceful. I quickly scanned the isles as I walked towards the front, searching for any faces that I knew and therefore requiring a smile of acknowledgement. All was clear and then I was almost there and I was losing confidence fast. Number one, it's hard to walk to the front in the first place, number two it's even harder carrying a car seat since everyone naturally expects you to sit in the back. Number three, it's hard to go anywhere where there are so many people who know each other and came together and you came alone. I'm no stickler and can make friends fast with just about anyone I sit next to, but it sure makes an awkward five minutes of sitting alone while I watch everyone that knows each other group together and I have to look like I'm fine with it that way.
Right when I was about to enter from the back door and abandon all hopes of staying and walk right through the front door I saw the cute lady from across our street. She's got quite the spunk left in her for being 80 something. I took her cookies one dreary December day and we've been friends since. She loves Alaska and had even already been over to say hello. She was a safe spot in my closing line of vision as I came closer and closer to the front. One row back from the front wasn't that bad and that's right where she was positioned. I bee-lined for her and was welcomed with a hug and a, "Let's see that cute girl."
I had thought we had gotten in pretty quietly, but as I pulled back the cover on Alaska's car seat she was already getting her quiet cries built up to something real. The organ music had totally drowned her out. I felt like such a bad mother for not even realizing that my little angel was in such distress and I immediately set her up with a bottle while everyone around us cooed about how adorable she was. What I hadn't anticipated was how much attention she needed, even when taking a bottle. I was constantly checking to make sure she wasn't dribbling or swallowing air or anything else that would be frowned upon.
We got through that ok and she was definitely the center of attention without me even trying. The program started 10 minutes late due to sound problems, which obviously hadn't been perfected as the organ blasted the opening hymn. And when I say blast I mean it could have competed with a train wreck. It startled me, which startled Alaska but no one could hear her cry because it was so loud. Our ears adjusted and by the time it was over we were both calmed down, however the quietness sent her into another series of whimpers through the prayer. We lasted through a song sang solo and the introduction of the speaker before it was just too much for her. The volume differences I think were what set her off. I walked us out of there at exactly the right time and made our loud way up and down the hall before I found the mother's lounge.
I wrapped her up tight and she was asleep in 15 minutes. We listened to the presentation from the foyer where the volume was a little more controllable with her cuddled against my shoulder.
Normally I wouldn't make a big deal of getting out to go to a devotional, but last years had been fantastic and I felt like I could use something like that again. This was not so awesome and it was perfectly fine that I had left the diaper bag with my notebook and pen in the chapel. The speaker was the director of 17 Miracles and after showing a 10 minute clip of the movie and explaining the history of those clips opened the rest of the time up for for questions. Good excuse to make a hour talk only be 10. I wasn't so impressed. But it was good to be out. It was good to be doing something I knew I ought to be doing and it was good to have my little girl with me, polite, calm and quiet. Which was more than a few of the other little girls were doing who were out in the hall with us.
No comments:
Post a Comment