Hikes

We have done 6 of 10 hikes and it has been eye opening. Do I like hiking, no, not especially. I thought getting out there and seeing cool stuff would be great, which it is, but it's not something I would do for 'fun'. I am doing it to gain a goal. I feel more rounded, which is gratifying, and I enjoy taking a picture at the end to prove that it is done.

My Facebook posts have gained me a little popularity and two people have asked me for suggestions on some local hikes. That is empowering. As if I were an expert on the subject, right? Bah.

It will be something that we do again, next summer. 10 hikes a summer is just about right. It keeps you taking every opportunity that you can and maybe do a little hustling at the end. Which is what we're going to have to do. 2 weeks of summer left and 4 hikes left to do. We are going to Utah on Monday and will need to finish up the hikes there, which will also be fun. Get some variety in my photos. I have a goal to get some red rock in a photo and found a short little walk called Devil's Kitchen which is pretty much a square of red rock near Payson, rather than having to go all the way to St. George area to get my red rock photo. And it's short enough that Talmage will be able to do it without a stroller. I am borrowing a hiking backpack from someone in the ward to take with me so that I don't need to take the stroller, but that means the girls have to carry all their own water bottles and snacks and I don't know how that is going to go down.

We have done all shaded hikes. It's what you do in the PNW. All but one. One was in the sun. I can still see in my mind, Alaska on the right side of my mom crying and saying, "The sun is in my shoes!" and C to the left side of my mom, her hands covering her eyes and me mildly wondering if she is even looking where she is going. The whole walk was like that and it was painful to my ears. At the look-out point Alaska would not take a photo and I have her documented bawling her heart out with C covering her ears because it is so loud. That was our hardest one.

My two favorites have been Lewis River lower and middle falls and Sauvie's Island Warrior Rock trail. Lewis River because it was beautiful and the kids had a great time stopping to play in the water and even though it was long, it didn't feel so long because it was shaded and gently rolling. And Warrior Rock because it has a good story that my mom was able to wrap up in a Facebook post:

So Jess posted the pictures, but I have to add the details to show just how incredible this daughter of mine is. . . . . . I'm just trying to support her in reaching a goal, you know? Nothing can stop her, and she does it all with enthusiasm and a smile! So, when a scheduled appointment threatens to keep you off the trail? Leave earlier! When parking permits are 10 miles back? Race back to get the permits while the other manages kids and puts strollers together. Short on time? Hustle! Time is up? Run! And holler with "whoops" and "yips" to make the kids laugh as we charge through the tall grass and blackberry brambles. This amazing daugher of mine. . . . . Doing incredible things every day. Conquering the world one goal at a time. Never a mishap. Always an adventure to embrace. Love you! Thanks for the memorable day!

We're Getting There!

People. Hear this! C may actually be a normal child under all her trauma and type A personality. Oh my goodness it is wonderful news and I feel so hopeful! I could just spin her around in circles. 

We just had our second to last counseling appointment for this Parent Child Interactive Therapy. I nailed it. One more to make sure things are going smoothly and then we are going to move onto the Parent Child Psychotherapy. With me. This is something that under the best of circumstances she would do with her mom, as her mom is the cause of the trauma and inner turmoil, but I will start it to hold her place while mom gets life under control. When we first went into all of this the counselor suggested that C would need both PCIT and PCP and we decided to start with PCIT to get her behavior under control. Which it is! Holy crap-oli. A month ago I could have told C to do something and we could have a 2 minute stare down of wills. Now I tell her to do something and she'll start in on it within 5 seconds or I can threaten a time-out and usually that gets her hustling to obey. And if the timeout doesn't work there are steps to take to make sure that it works and it has been relieving to my soul. I can breathe. I can take the girl in public and expect obedience and good behavior. No more tantrums, staredowns or stress that comes from a child that flat out won't listen to expectations. It is a miracle. I have put so much hard work into her. More work than I have my own children. And the payoff is finally coming.

This has been such a long time coming and I still feel like the phase 1 stuff was a little bit of a waste of time. I mean, I was so good at it and so far from it all at the same time it was frustrating. But it's good now and I am so good at it that today the counselor came to the house for our appointment and I was able to use my PRIDE skills on Talmage, Alaska and C, all at the same time. And it wasn't even hard. I was all in. All right there. And I exceeded by a million. Nearly doubling the requirements of 10. I was hitting numbers like 17 and 18.

We had to come to the house because the last appointment we had, C did exactly as I asked her each time, no time-out threatening needed. Which is fantastic, except that I needed to show that I could follow through with a time-out threaten and she never gave me the opportunity. So we amped it up by coming to the house where Alaska and Talmage could take some of her precious attention and I knew she would flip out. Which she did. The counselor noticed and is definitely going to focus on anger management type techniques to help her keep calm in frustrating situations in this next therapy we do. 

This past week we have struggled hard with house rules. Things like hands to self and talking quietly. I asked the counselor about implementing my timeout techniques for those and there is a whole section on it in her big fat book. I am relieved. We will start doing that this week. 

C's hardest things are not interrupting and giving people space. The counselor let me know that I could insist upon these things. Insist that she wait until I am done talking to someone and insist that she takes 2 steps back. This has given me some much needed breathing room and I don't feel like C needs to rule the house when someone is over. It is so amazing. So so so amazing.

One Month of Summer Left

We did a hike to Opal Falls over Memorial Day Weekend. It was packed. To put it mildly. The cars were parked along the side of the road starting at about 5 miles before the trail head. We were running later than we had wanted for a starting time, which worked in our favor. We were able to grab an empty early bird's spot just a few hundred feet from the entrance. 

Grandma Graff and my whole family, minus Dorian, came and it was so pleasant. There was lots to see and take pictures of. It used to be the location of a mining shaft and a lot of the necessary things were still there. The things that were too heavy to take out. Like a few rail cars and some other stuff. We took the stroller and Talmage and the girls took turns riding in it, riding on shoulders and walking. It was a huge amount of walking - 6.5, although the distance gets longer each time I tell the story. I'll keep it at 6.5, which is what we bargained for when we first started out. 

It was beautiful, just the whole thing, but especially getting to the top and seeing the pool. There was a particularly perfectly placed log that a person could sit on, their legs dangling as they enjoyed the scene while taking a sip of water or eating a snack.

This experience was the brainchild for my goal of 10 hikes this summer. I don't want to leave Oregon without knowing it. I know my area well enough, but I want to see and know more. So off we go. Right now we will be doing 5:10 tomorrow and we only have a month of summer left. It has got me in a tizzy. My heart hurts and my stomach twists up and does knots. It's so pitiful. I can never fit enough summer into our usual one good month of summer. August. And I get so anxious about how to fill my time and how to use it wisely that it just makes me unravel and I end up taking an afternoon wallowing and sleeping. Which is an utter waste of time but it was so overwhelming to find the perfect way to spend that time that I throw it away on purpose. As if that makes it better. To have control.